- 5th December- Zero
- What if I say if I'm not like the others? What if I say I'm not just another boy? -
I went outside to take a walk and passed the coffee shop, thinking about to whether or not buying a coffee. In fact I was waiting for nothing when I saw her in the shop.
I didn't know what to do- I was somehow puzzled. Since I met her I had changed a lot on the inside. Or at least that's what I was thinking. As if I had ever problems to express myself, to be just me . . . Until now. She makes me feel strange, so the only thing I can think of is leave that girl alone whenever I meet her . . .
I stayed outside, sitting on a bench, simply staring at her while I was thinking about just walk away. Did she saw me there?- Maybe...
After a while I was so cold, I just had to drink some hot chocolate. I entered the shop, ordered and smiled at her when she finally seemed to remember me...I went outside, sat down at the bench again and waited for her to get home. This time I won't run away like the other times. It feels so wrong. The running-away stuff I mean.
She has to work a lot, I thought after a while... (That was just because I had to wait about three hours!? I wonder why she even has to work. Normal teenagers have parents who give 'em some pocket money. . .) Could her family be poor?
When she finally came out, she laughed unsure at me: "Ehm...hello? May I ask you what you're waiting for?"
Her voice was so lovely, I was feeling warm for a moment (to add: it was 39°F....pretty cold for someone who just wears a sweater and jeans, sitting some hours on a cold bench!).
She was blushing as soon as she had finished her sentence
"To be honest...", I began.
What to say? I noticed how weird it would sound if I told her right away "I'm waiting just for you, dear!" ... so I said: "...For nobody...I'm waiting for nothing at all."
Now she smiled a cheeky smile while she said: "Never mind... but aren't you cold?"
Just in time I felt even more cold. "Don't have to care 'bout me."- "Okay...?"
She started to walk away. "Yeah... you are the girl who wasn't able to take care of her dog, aren't you?" She continued to walk, so I followed her. "It isn't my fault that Sulky is always doing what she likes to. By the way thanks for showing her the way back to me that day. She's so...whatever. Hey, why did you disappear right there anyway?! Before I had the chance to say thanks? Why did you have to leave me that piece of paper?!"
Was she upset? I didn't know. She turned around to face me. I said nothing at all. I was thinking 'bout some things who were rushing through my head at once, while I looked at her.
Oh man, I'm such an idiot! What am I doing here? I'm still having a girlfriend (I have to break up with her! Scarlette really asked me if she looks pretty. I don't know? There's too much make-up! It isn't for sure either that the colour of her eyes is green!)
"What's up? Something in my face?! I'm talking to you, you know?"
...She was as puzzled as I was, she smiled, though.
I was back to normal, now trying to make her understand my situation in park.
"Let me ask you a few questions first, okay?...What's my name?"
She glared at me- dazzled.
"It's... Zero, isn't it?", she answered right away. She seems to be a person who says everything right away. I like that. It's better than keeping secrets like I do, actually.
"You see? If I'd just let you thank me and so on... you would not remember my name. You would not know it, because you would never have asked me. You seemed to be a kind girl, so I didn't want you to forget me right away. That's all...Have a nice day or whatever..."
The two of us already had started to walk again, but now she suddenly stopped, turning around again, distrustful.
"Liar...How can you...?!"-
"I'm not. I sound like an idiot, I know. I really know...Anyway believe in what you want to. I'm going home- now. It's way to cold."
I left her again, this time throwing a piece of paper at the pavement. If she wants to meet me again sometime, she would take it with her. If not, then not.
I looked back, seeing that she hold it in her hands, staring after me. I smiled. Let's see if she'll call.
- 6th December- Judith
- I don't wanna put on my make-up just like every girl in the magazine, that's not who I am when I wake up- that's not who I wanna be -
"... I won't. I just can't! Rachel don't make me do this. Please!" I told her everything. Don't ask me why... Why do I always have to make the same mistakes? Now she wants me to call him. Today! Right now...
I had no idea what to say if he answers the telephone. Both of us would be silent. What if he has a girlfriend, if she would be the one answering the phone? "I'm just.. I'm just... Forget about me. I never existed..."
"Don't be like this! I know you like him. He was waiting for you.."-
"No, he wasn't!"
"He wanted you to remember him!"-
"Because he expected to get a present or something like that...?"
"You have to be kidding! Don't say something like that ever again, understood!?"
Eve grabbed my telephone and the slip of paper with the phone number, locking herself into my bathroom.
"No...! Not you, too, Eve!", I screamed, "You won't do that...!?"
I heard the sound of the telephone, heard Eve dialing his number.
I wanted to say goodbye forever...
"Hello? This is Eve speaking, a friend of Judith, you're Zero, right? I wanted to ask you something. You'd like to come over tonight?"
Then there was silence. I couldn't believe my ears. That could not be true. It has to be a dream, a nightmare! I never requested her to invite him? Who does she think she is?...
"Okay, that's great! It's ..." She told him where to find my flat and then finished her phone call.
"Are you crazy or something!?", I shouted at her when she opened the door.
"Calm down. You'll thank me someday. Hurry up! Get dressed!"
I looked down at myself: I was wearing a black sweater and blue jeans.
"... I have no idea what to..." I had no chance to finish the sentence. Rachel shoved me into my room, opening the wardrobe, searching for a nice dress. She picked a red tight long-shirt and black jeans. After I clothed myself, she shoved me into the bathroom, but before she could made myself up, I sneaked out of the room, grabbed my jacket and put on my black boots.
I was running out of the door, hurrying down the stairs. Outside I couldn't stop soon enough to not crush into that guy...Zero? He fell, I followed, falling onto him. This can't be real...Life used to be so easy....
- 6th December- Zero
- I'm so tired of trying to fight this -
Ouch... Watch out! Girl's gonna hurt you... by smashing you down?!
I was on my way to a friend before I found myself lying on the pavement.
Ju, the Central-Park-Girl was to blame. She ran out of the door without taking a look at who she's going to crash into. So we fell onto the pavement. Her face was so near to mine...Her lips... she had the lips of an angel: bloody red. Her eyes searched mine, trying to find out if I was angry or something. I wasn't. I just asked myself why she was in such a hurry when she left the house.
That's a memory for days anyway- I can feel the pain of tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after...
"I'm so sorry...", she muttered, "Did I hurt you, or something?"-
"Every thing's fine- with me, what about you?" She locked a little bit puzzled.
"No need to mention it... I'm sorry for my friends calling you. Forget about it okay?"
"Why did they call me anyway?" She stood up so I could, too.
"Doesn't really matter..."- "Yes, it does. C'mon. Tell me the truth."
"I already told you...!?" Her mood was mixed up, so it seems. Her face was even with a soft smile. At the same time her eyes showed her nervousness and some anger.
"You're a bad liar. You're eyes...they give you away..."
"You can tell? Now you're the one who lies..." She could not stay in eye contact with me anymore. She took a step away from me. Unfortunately she stumbled over something, swayed and then began to fall. I grabbed her arm, stopped her fall and pulled her nearer to me than before. She blushed when I looked down into her eyes. Her face was so near to mine, her lips bloody red...
- 6th December- Judith
- I'm falling even more in love with you... I'm hanging by a moment here with you -
... his eyes were deeper than the sea. I closed my eyes, dreaming how much I wanted to kiss him right now, right here. It was so childish... How could I even think of something like that...
My eyes stayed close when his lips, smooth as silk, touched softly mine. I shrugged back but he stopped me, pulling me back even closer than before. His arms, protecting me from the people walking reckless through the street, hold me tight. I opened my eyes, looking into his, melting under his gaze. I could barely breath, I never wanted to end this kiss, though.
He leaned in closer before he stopped kissing me.
What was going on? Why did he do this? ... There was a feeling deep in me... I wanted to be with him forever...though I could not look back at him. I looked on the ground saying nothing but 'ehm'.
I was unsure why he did what he did. And why was I kissing him back as if I had fallen in love with him?
"You're alright..? I'm sorry...", he began to apologize. "No. no! Don't say sorry...please don't..."
"This makes me confuse. Why are you so quit if you do not regret that you've kissed me back..." He really was confuse. It was understandable. I was acting strange, even for me.
"I don't know either. I need to have a drink. Want to come up to my place? If you don't want it's okay..."
"Would be nice!"
"Eve? Rachel?...You there?", I said lovely. Both of them ran out of the kitchen like pets or something (Sulky just stayed where she was). "You're back...?!" Rachel gave me a huge hug as if she wanted to say sorry for torturing me. Eve was a bit disappointed of me running away as it seems: "Why were you... Hey who are you!?"
"Out of my flat, now!", I whispered angry, pushing them through the door. "Bye, love you!"
When the door was closed I finally relaxed. "Welcome in. Sorry for that. Sometimes I need to remind them whose flat it is..."
"Okay. You're sure I can stay?", he laughed. "Let me think 'bout it... No! Out!", I said sarcastically,"Want a Coke, too?"
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Comments
In spite of my difficulties, I like to follow this history
merry christmas for you too !
Thank you sooooo much!
--
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music ♥
=RawEm0tion - Curious?
I am happy that that pleases so much to you!
I wanted to ask what the song is that you used for the subtitle on this story. I can't find a song with those lyrics in it.
Thanks!! ^.^
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~Clover
To End the ending, You have to Begin the new beginning.
"The silence is what kills me, I need someone here to help me"-Staind
Ehm, you mean "Let's take a walk in the snow, no need to know where we go"? It was originally "let's take a ride", it surely is the reason why you couldn't find it. It's from Sarah Connor "a ride in the snow"
--
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music ♥
=RawEm0tion - Curious?
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Every girl needs a man she can go to in her sweats, hair a mess, make-up running down her face, eyes red from crying and the first thing he says is "Baby, you're beautiful!" and means it!
--
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music ♥
=RawEm0tion - Curious?
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